Snapshot: YES! My Water Broke!

This is a snapshot I think about often and one that I want to remember always.....

...

Thursday December 30, 2010

I'm one day shy of 39 weeks pregnant and I'm exhausted and in pain. I can barely move and when I do my pelvic bone grinds against itself. 1 more week until my due date. I can handle it, even though inside my head I feel like I can't.

This morning I had a sit-down conversation with little bean inside me. Okay, I know it was only one-sided but I'm sure she heard me. I cried, a lot. I told her about myself and about how I can't wait to hold her in my arms. I expressed excitement about how excited I was to teach her how to pray, how to dance, how to sing, how to read her scriptures and bear her testimony. I told her how much I loved her. I continued to tell her about her Daddy and what a sweet, caring, and selfless person he is. I told her that he was already smitten by her. I told her how much FUN he is! After that I continued to tell her about both sets of her grandparents and what wonderful people they are. In conclusion, I told her that we loved her and that whenever she was ready to come...we were SO READY to have her. The conversation was more for my sanity sake but I felt at peace after I talked to her. I felt a calm feeling come over me...

The family is in town and I love that. But sometimes its exhausting too. I feel like a hot air balloon and sometimes I just want to get into my pj's and curl up on the couch. Oh well, we're off to dinner. Pelicano's is one of my favorites but not tonight. My stomach has felt off the past few days. I've read that that can be an early sign of labor, but then I've read that some women experience this feeling for days and days before they give birth to their babies. Stop getting your hopes up Lauren.

Dinner has been nice. We are all here sitting around this giant round table. Everyone is anxiously engaged in conversation. I am sitting here chatting with Steve's sisters about pregnancy, birth, babies, etc... A lot of my conversations revolve around these things these days. I love it, I hope they do too. I would usually order the special....a cajun fish of some sort. Absolutely mouth watering. My stomach isn't feeling it tonight so I order something small and barely eat any of it. It all smells delicious but I just can't do it tonight.

There is talk of going to see "True Grit". After all, the movie theater is next door. The decision for me is quite easy, not me. I tell Steve to enjoy himself and to have his phone ON so that if anything were to happen I could call him and he could come home right away. I sigh as I tell him this. No, the baby isn't coming tonight. I am now past the point of hoping that "this" is going to be the night. I've finally succumbed to the fact that she will come when she is ready and no matter how many times I walk up and down stairs or go on very long walks it's not going to change that fact. No, nothing is going to happen tonight but I'm tired and going home to relax.

I can't sleep until Steve gets home so I peruse blogs, facebook, and check the news. My quiet evening was disrupted by a drunk guy outside the apartments knocking on everyone's doors yelling. Small amount of fear enters my body but I call the cops and tell them what's going on. Don't worry Lauren...your doors are locked, you're safe.

Steve is home now. It's past 11 and we are sitting here talking for a minute. Steve has just told me that he doesn't think she is coming tonight. He's afraid he might have offended me, but he hasn't. I completely agree. We get ready for bed, I can't wait until my head hits the pillow...I think it will be instant lights out. 12:05 I hop into bed, finally! The lights are still on. I'm waiting for Steve to brush his teeth and come into bed. I hear a strange noise in my tummy. Weird. I feel something odd. UM......I shortly realize what I think is going on and I jump out of bed so it doesn't get all over the bed and in the mattress. I made it right before the WHOOSH! Yes.....really a big whoosh. Like a GIANT waterballoon has just ruptured all over me. I definitely didn't pee my pants.

"STEVE." I say in a somewhat bewildered and excited tone. Hee answers from the bathroom. I continue..."Pretty sure my water just broke." He came in looking exhausted. He was excited to go to bed too. haha. But for me, suddenly I wasn't tired anymore. The adrenaline was rushing all throughout my body and I was ready. So ready to have this baby. YES...My water had broke which means one way or another this baby was coming out!!

Yes, I'm ready to go have this baby! 

.....

Maybe she did hear our little conversation....maybe she got excited to meet her Mama! 

Holding pattern

Sometimes I feel as if this baby will never come out! Then I know she will be here and I will forget all this misery and waiting. I know she will be worth it. False labor pains have been ongoing these past four days. I've done a lot of walking and who knows what else! Last night I was up all night feeling like I was going to throw up and the pain and pressure in my pelvis is almost unbearable now. So close.....thats what I keep telling myself. I guess this is all so that im ready to go through labor...and i am ready!

But I am so grateful. Grateful for a wonderful husband who is always there for me. Grateful for a mother who sympathizes with me every day. Grateful for the opportunity to carry this little girl inside me. Grateful for her health. Grateful for the privilege I will have of becoming a mother. I really am grateful for all of it.

False labor

This is a pain in the butt! Yesterday around 2 right at the end of church unstaffed getting cramps in my lower back and then began feeling more tightness in my lower abdomen.. Where as my Braxton hicks have been higher in my belly. They were more uncomfortable than ever had been before. I didn't get too excited but figured I wiuld keep an eye on it. I knew I was hungry so I figured maybe I am just hungry and dehydrated...came home and ate and drank a ton. They still continued. It didn't matter kf I was standing, sitting, lying down.. They weren't going away.

They were hard to really time. No clear ormdefinitive beginning or end. We decided to take a nice Sunday nap... I could t really sleep but I did doze off for about 15 minutes but I woke up still having contractions. More definitive, a little more intense. We went on a walk. They kept coming. Came home and played a game with Steve and now they were coming on average about every 5-8 minutes.. However sometimes I wouldn't get one for a little bit longer. They weren't really getting too much worse but definitely more uncomfortable... So I called the hospital and she told me it sounded like false labor. To drink tons of water and take a bath. Did both and it was the most unpleasant bath of my life. No relaxing.

Around 9:30 we went to pick up steves fam from the airport and the car seemed to make the contractions worse but thrown we got out and they eased up a bit. We went to bed around midnight and they were still coming. They came on and off through the night and still getting them a bit this morning. Made for an uncomfortable nights sleep. Oh well....just preparing my body for the real thing right?

I'm told it could be days or weeks away now....let's all hope for days as this is really getting uncomfortable and I want to hold my little girl more than anything in the whole world!!!

Have a wonderful day... I'm going for a very long walk! Cross your fingers! Haha

90 Years old..

Well I'm 36 1/2 weeks now.. and I feel like I'm 42 weeks. HAHA! I'm sure every pregnant woman feels this way or maybe I'm just extremely impatient!

Went to my doctors appointment today, 50% effaced and dilated to a 1. Which after hearing many accounts from friends who just had babies means almost nothing! haha I have now learned that you can be a 1 at the beginning of the day and have the baby that night or be a 4 for weeks before the baby comes. Either way, it felt good to hear that progress is being made! haha!

I feel like a 90 year old woman. And not one of those super woman type 90 year olds (like my neighbor Jane.. seriously...) who can walk around normally but one of those 90 year old woman that has to hobble everywhere they go! By the end of the day, I can barely hobble around and I'm in serious pain because my ligaments are TOO LOOSE! I think the baby has dropped a little too because the pain has gotten worse in the last couple of days and Steve commented that my tummy looked a little lower. Some times it feels like my right leg is not attached to anything in there and I think I actually heard my pelvis bone scraping against itself last night.....shiver.

Last night was bad but thanks to my rice sock (Thanks BEEBS!) I was able to get a few hours of sleep after the 5 o clock hour. Sheesh.. Seriously, remember that post where I said you should be grateful for your body.. I mean it times 10 now!

Sorry for the complaining... just ready for this little girl to make her appearance is all! :)

35 Weeks!

(sorry it's a bit blurry and YES I KNOW my mirror is disgusting!)

ONLY 5 MORE TO GO!!! I'm getting more impatient by the day... I can't wait to meet my little girl!! I have definitely been "nesting"! Getting all of her things ready.. organizing the apartment....cleaning, more organizing, getting ready for Christmas etc!! I am SO EXCITED! AND SO READY!

Unfortunately I have had to deal with quite a bit of pain the last couple of weeks. When you are pregnant your body produces a hormone called Relaxin that starts to relax the ligaments that connect to your pelvic bone....basically allowing more room for the baby to be born. This is all normal! HOWEVER, my body has created too much... and so it results in quite a bit of pain because my pelvic bone is basically hitting itself... bone on one. It is difficult to walk, difficult to go up and down stairs, difficult to get in and out of the car, difficult to spread my legs out hardly at all, and the most painful to roll over in bed. It causes a lot of pain in my inner thighs (particularly my right side) and then also causes more pain in my sciatica nerve! OH JOY! But it will all be over soon and so I will bear with it! Who knows...maybe it has made so much room in there that my baby girl will just slip right out.. HAHA we can always dream right?

Anyway, she moves like crazy and I LOVE HER SO MUCH! Can't wait to finally meet her.. even though sometimes I feel like I already have!

My adorable little Parasite!

Disclaimer: This post is not to be read in a COMPLAINING manner... it is not that way.. these are just thoughts I have been thinking about lately! okay... now....

I have realized that I have really taken my body for granted. I mean... even the little things. To be able to do even the simplest things now a days turns into quite a challenge. I usually need help off the couch (or it takes a little more effort), my balance is shaky, I can't turn over in the middle of the night without waking up because the belly is so heavy, I seem to walk much differently and it has caused certain muscles to hurt, no position is comfortable (whether it be sitting, standing, laying, walking), putting on a pair of socks is quite difficult or for that matter... even putting on my pants, shaving my legs is becoming quite funny, fitting through spaces that I once fit through is..well..impossible. HAHA... everything is quite different now that I have a little parasite in me. (please don't be offended...I think she is the cutest little parasite ever and I love her with all my heart) BUT.. by definition that is what she is. She seems to take all my food....because I am ALWAYS hungry and I crave foods that I never craved before...sweets for example...I've never really been a sweets girl, until now!

I am not one of those women who hates pregnancy.. I don't, in so many ways it is a beautiful thing! BUT neither am I one of those women who loves it. If I'm speaking honestly..I can't wait to have my body back to myself. I can't wait to be able to go on a nice LONG RUN and really feel my heart pumpin! I can't wait to be able to walk up a flight of stairs and not feel like I am going to pass out.. haha. I can't wait to feel like my insides are not going to rupture because they are so squished! Ah.... what it will be like to have it to myself again.....I know it will be a beautiful thing...besides if I have it to myself that means I will have a beautiful angel little girl to hold in my arms. THIS sounds GREAT to me!! 33 weeks today...only 7 more to go!

Don't take your body for granted....be grateful for all the things you can do with it!

31 Weeks!

I can't believe I am this far... but I am getting so impatient! haha.. okay I want her to stay in there until she is good and ready but we are just so excited to see what she looks like and to actually get to hold her in our arms! Seriously... can hardly stand it! So excited!

She is such an active little girl. I love it when she kicks though. This way I know that she is healthy in there! However, when I am taking a nap or sleeping in the middle of the night it is not fun to wake up to someone kicking you in the ribs! haha... who knew someone only 3 1/2 pounds could be so strong! I love it though, really I do! We just love our little pea pod!


And here are some fun photos! These 2 friends are due just a month before me! And.. we are all having GIRLS! There seems to be a girl craze here in Albuquerque.. everyone is having a little girl! Lots of friends for our little one.

Preparing for a Baby!

I'm so excited for this angel baby girl to bless our lives! We can hardly stand the wait time... but really we know she will be here before we know it! I feel like there is SO MUCH to prepare, and SURPRISINGLY I'm not stressed about it. I just know that everything will work out just the way it is supposed to be. This is new for me... trust me, I stress about everything!

I'm definitely getting bigger by the day (pictures to come at the end of the week!) and its hard to get use to this new body of mine. Since entering the third trimester my energy levels have definitely dropped. I guess it doesn't help that I rarely get a good nights sleep. The other night I woke up when Steve went to the bathroom around 2:30 and it went downhill from there. I was WIDE AWAKE and apparently so was little angel baby. She decided to kick and turn and punch her momma until 5:30 in the morning. So there I was for 3 hours WIDE AWAKE! Finally she decided to sleep and so I did to...atleast for a couple hours. I figure this is just another way to prepare for when she gets here.

My back pain is back but it seems to be a bit higher now....closer to my rib cage. It is so CRAZY how much your body changes. She loves to kick me in my ribs as well...that's always pleasant! haha!

But I love her SO MUCH! Even when she keeps me up for 3 hours in the middle of the night! In fact, the two of us had a lot of fun during that time. She loves to play with her momma. She kicks me and I poke her back and we could go on for A LONG TIME doing that. If I have my hands resting on my belly for too long... she almost ALWAYS kicks where the pressure is. She's such a funny little girl, I can tell already!

We love her. We can't wait for little angel baby girl to get here (of course we want her to be nice and ready first!)

business trip to utah!

Many of you know that I run my own business, and I love it! It is hard work but totally worth the personal growth I have already seen in my life! This last trip to Utah was almost entirely for business. The majority of my time was spent with business partners etc.. and it was worth it!

I found my first business partner (MY MOM!), and she found hers! There are 3 of us on the team now and it is so exciting to see your business expand like that! I know it will only continue to do so! The 3 of us have been working hard, and I know we will all reach our goals. Gosh, it feels great to be in control of my future. I don't have to wonder... what will I be doing in 5 years? I KNOW where I will be in 5 years. I will be driving a White Mercedes Benz and living in a home I OWN! I am so excited to see what the future holds for our little family. Bonnie and I at the Logan Bridal Fair!

It wasn't all work! I did get to spend some great time with my family, and many of them came to support me in my business efforts and I just want to say THANK YOU! I got to spend a little bit of time with my cute nieces and nephews... I don't think they know how much I miss their cute little faces. I got to spend quite a bit of time with my cutest of cute grandma's. We talked, laughed, and watched "The Scarlet Pimpernel!" If you haven't seen that classic, you should... definite chick flick, and I love every minute of it. I also got to spend time in Logan which was heavenly, since we all know how I feel about that place. I ate my favorite sandwich, went shopping at the Utah State Bookstore, got Aggie apparel for sweet baby Angel girl (thanks Whitney and Alex!), and of course spent time with these two cuties! (this was them showing how sad they were that Steve wasn't there to play with us.)

And of course, just to show you how already our baby is a "true" aggie! I'm such a nerd!

It was a great trip!

26 weeks!

Time is flying by... although there are other times where it seems to drag on and on!

Here is a picture of me if you remember at just 16 weeks!

Now here I am at 26 weeks!

Our sweet baby girl kicks like crazy... especially when I am trying to sleep at night. She seems to always wake me up around 6AM! And then it is hard to go back to sleep. If I rest my hand on my tummy she will almost always start kicking where she must feel the pressure. She is a little sweetheart!

We had another ultrasound and she looks healthy and strong. She has cute little chubby cheeks and she was sleeping with her little hands up by her face....SO PRECIOUS! Then we saw her give a little yawn and my heart just melted. We love her so much!

ultrasound pics!!!

SO I don't have a printer or a scanner so I had to go to the UPS store to scan in these photos and then they scanned in the wrong way... so you'll have to tilt your head to see my precious baby girl! Doesn't she have the cutest little profile?!?!? But I think my favorite photo is her looking up at me with those precious BIG eyes over the top of her head....she kept doing that during the ultrasound. We just love her so much!!!

I'm seeing things in PINK!

Yes, It's a GIRL!! We went in for the ultrasound today and it was so special to finally see our sweet little one! As we were getting the ultrasound the woman kept saying "Come on baby, MOVE" but she was just content to lay on her back in her mommy's tummy! If this is any indicator of what she will be like... she is very much like her mother!

It's always been a joke that Steve is the wild, crazy, and active member in the family and I am the calm, quiet, and sometimes lazy one in the family....yikes!

We are so excited.. excited that she is a healthy baby and she will be joining our little family! We feel so blessed!!

P.S. The first thing the technician said was "wow, big head!" That's just great... haha it'll be great when it's coming out!! haha!!

Boy or Girl?

So I find out THIS THURSDAY if the sweet little baby inside me is a boy or a girl! I'll be super excited either way... But what do you think? BOY or GIRL?

20 Weeks!!

I am now officially at the halfway mark in my pregnancy! Halfway until we have a sweet little angel join our little family. Obviously Steve and I are quite ready since one of us seems to dream about the baby every night! We are super excited! I bought just a few maternity shirts this week with my good friend Lindsey! We had a great time (me having a great time shopping? huh? I know right?) BUT we did have a great time and the shirts are so comfortable!!!

Things I have been experiencing:

- The Baby almost always kicks me now.... it is usually right after dinner and right as I am trying to go to bed... the little tyke just wants to let mommy know it's there. (gosh it will be great to not call it "IT" anymore!)
- Heartburn has slowly creeped up on me. However, I have found ways to keep it mostly away..at least for now. Chewing GUM has been the biggest cure..strange, but true.
- Sleeping is hard even with pillows. The strangest part is turning over in the middle of the night, the belly is making things more difficult no matter how small it could be. I guess this is just preparation for when the baby comes!
- My Emotionalness is much less than it was before, thank goodness....I don't think I could cry over ketchup again! hehe
- I feel great! I have tons of energy (except at night) and I feel like a normal person except I have this very strong belly poking out of me!
- My Prenatal Yoga is seriously the BEST part of my day... okay one of the best! It is a workout, but also stress relieving and completely relaxing.. I LOVE YOU CHILD'S POSE!

Life is Good!

Labor

Haha no OBVIOUSLY I'm NOT in Labor....but I have been reading a lot abut it and I can't get my mind off of it! Although I've never gone through Labor, I'm pretty sure it is one of those things that you can never really truly prepare yourself for. (correct me if I'm wrong!) Labor both scares and empowers me, especially after reading so much on it but let me tell you the predicament I am in.

My ENTIRE life I have always been the person who just knew she wanted an Epidural. I don't know if that was because My mom, my sister, sister in laws, friends, neighbors, etc... usually had one and we tend to go with the "norms" of our environment. I was always the one that would "secretly" laugh when a woman told me she was going to have her baby naturally. I would think to myself "What the heck is wrong with you, the medication to help relieve your pain is there for you....WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING IT? ARE YOU CRAZY?" Yes, that has always been me and my views on birth....

But everything changes when you ACTUALLY have a real life baby inside you and the experience is entirely yours. I find myself everyday asking myself....what is it that I really want? What does my baby want? What is best for me? What is best for my baby? Now that it is happening to me, I realize that it is actually no small decision. Atleast not to me. I want to be informed when I make my decision. But it is a scary decision.

I find myself entirely confused and entirely split down the middle. One half of me thinks.... for THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of years... Women have given birth naturally. Our bodies were made to give birth, and they are equipped with what is necessary to do so...so why wouldn't I do it naturally? But then the other half of me says....you have been GIVEN MODERN TECHNOLOGY so USE IT!!! It will help you through the Pain so USE IT!!! Then I go back to....but pain is a natural thing, and that pain helps your body do what it is suppose to do naturally and maybe the medication is only hindering your body's natural processes! And then I go back to..... I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through that kind of pain......What will people think if I do, if I don't?...

And the cycle continues! HAHA! I told you I'm confused! I don't know if I am leaning one way or the other at this point, I'm just trying to keep an open mind. I'm trying my hardest to not be too judgmental about any particular way of doing it...because now I realize just how personal and important of a decision it is to each individual. Sheesh...

I do know that if at all possible I don't want to have a c-section..obviously I know there are times when you can't control that and it is better to just have one....but I want to avoid that if I can. I do know that the c-section rate is much lower among natural births because the epidural does slow down labor...but then again everything has it's pros and its cons.

So NOW.... I would like everyones opinions and advice on the matter... from BOTH sides! I want to know what you think and please don't hold back...PLEASE!

16 weeks... and a couple days!

I can't believe I'm already 16 weeks!! Steve and I were talking yesterday about what a miracle it is to have an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING growing inside my body! CRAZY! Now, I can't be sure...but I think I have felt the baby 2 times. Everyone keeps telling me that I won't really know if its the baby until it happens more frequently and I can be sure it's not just a gas bubble. haha. So I'm waiting to know if it really is the baby....because I know 16 weeks it is a bit early to tell. But.... if felt like popcorn popping in my stomach!

My only issues right now with pregnancy is back pain. I've always had quite an arched back but pregnancy has made that worse, resulting in lower back pain. Sleeping is difficult, standing is difficult, sitting is difficult......If I sit, I can't sit for long, if I stand, I can't stand for long, If I sleep....well it doesn't go over well. But I'm not complaining....it's all part of the process!

Baby Nurseries!

We don't know if our sweet baby will be a boy or a girl....but we are so excited no matter what!! I have been looking at inspiration for baby nurseries!! (it's very addicting!!) Here is some of what I have found and I would LOVE to hear what you think! Most of these particular ideas are way too expensive but they are only inspirations. Please give me any ideas you might have and what you think!!!

If it's a boy... I really want to do a Nautical themed nursery!! This is the best one I have found so far!!
If it's a girl...I'm not set on a theme but here are a couple of ideas. I love the second one most...because it has that vintage look but the lady bugs are just so cute!!

My absolute favorite!!
So.....What do you think?

Our Family...

This is Our family now.....

This will be our Family on January 7th...
Yup, We're having a baby and we couldn't be more excited!

Sheesh, pregnancy can be rough in the first trimester but I have to count my blessings. Although I never actually threw up....I constantly felt like I was going to! Everytime I would stand I thought I was going to lose it and I have been utterly EXHAUSTED! HAHA, I told Steve that I was so SICK of laying on the couch! Thankfully though, the nausea has pretty much ceased and I'm hoping my energy returns sometime soon!

Hormones while pregnant are also quite interesting. I cry at the drop of the hat....and for not logical reason! The other day I was listening to music and eating my lunch when my hormones decided it was time to cry....I'm not talking a few glistening tears....I BAWLED.....In the middle of this cry fest I had to start laughing because I had NO IDEA what I was crying about. Sheesh....The best was when I cried over Ketchup...yup, we didn't have anymore ketchup for my chicken tender basket and I cried. Bless my husband, who walked across the street just to get me ketchup. I know he thought I was crazy...let's be honest..I was!

The Best part of this pregnancy so far....was yesterday. Yesterday we got to hear the baby's heartbeat! I cried of course! To actually hear the baby was incredible, words can't really describe the joy I felt. Although I have known that a baby was inside me....this really helped me to actually KNOW that a baby was inside me! We are so excited to be parents and all the joy that it will bring!!!!

Now I don't think ANYONE would notice that I have a little bit of belly, but I notice. haha. I have added a picture, it's not very good..self timer! Maybe you can't even tell, but there is a little pregnant potbelly there.... Actually I'm adding this picture more for memory sake...so that I can keep track of my belly growth over the coming months!!