Haha no OBVIOUSLY I'm NOT in Labor....but I have been reading a lot abut it and I can't get my mind off of it! Although I've never gone through Labor, I'm pretty sure it is one of those things that you can never really truly prepare yourself for. (correct me if I'm wrong!) Labor both scares and empowers me, especially after reading so much on it but let me tell you the predicament I am in.
My ENTIRE life I have always been the person who just knew she wanted an Epidural. I don't know if that was because My mom, my sister, sister in laws, friends, neighbors, etc... usually had one and we tend to go with the "norms" of our environment. I was always the one that would "secretly" laugh when a woman told me she was going to have her baby naturally. I would think to myself "What the heck is wrong with you, the medication to help relieve your pain is there for you....WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING IT? ARE YOU CRAZY?" Yes, that has always been me and my views on birth....
But everything changes when you ACTUALLY have a real life baby inside you and the experience is entirely yours. I find myself everyday asking myself....what is it that I really want? What does my baby want? What is best for me? What is best for my baby? Now that it is happening to me, I realize that it is actually no small decision. Atleast not to me. I want to be informed when I make my decision. But it is a scary decision.
I find myself entirely confused and entirely split down the middle. One half of me thinks.... for THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of years... Women have given birth naturally. Our bodies were made to give birth, and they are equipped with what is necessary to do so...so why wouldn't I do it naturally? But then the other half of me says....you have been GIVEN MODERN TECHNOLOGY so USE IT!!! It will help you through the Pain so USE IT!!! Then I go back to....but pain is a natural thing, and that pain helps your body do what it is suppose to do naturally and maybe the medication is only hindering your body's natural processes! And then I go back to..... I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through that kind of pain......What will people think if I do, if I don't?...
And the cycle continues! HAHA! I told you I'm confused! I don't know if I am leaning one way or the other at this point, I'm just trying to keep an open mind. I'm trying my hardest to not be too judgmental about any particular way of doing it...because now I realize just how personal and important of a decision it is to each individual. Sheesh...
I do know that if at all possible I don't want to have a c-section..obviously I know there are times when you can't control that and it is better to just have one....but I want to avoid that if I can. I do know that the c-section rate is much lower among natural births because the epidural does slow down labor...but then again everything has it's pros and its cons.
So NOW.... I would like everyones opinions and advice on the matter... from BOTH sides! I want to know what you think and please don't hold back...PLEASE!
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9 comments:
Well, being the experienced mother I am, I say... okay, I don't really know what to say. My first instinct would be the epidural, but I haven't studied up on it...
I think people have strong opinions about what worked for them & what didn't... but everyone's different, so I think you're smart to keep an open-mind and read & read about the different experiences. If you decide to do the natural birth, you WILL be strong enough. I think it's partly a mind-game... and if you believe in yourself (and God) enough, you'll be able to do it.
I wouldn't worry about what other people think... it's your body & your baby, and you've gotta do what's best for you two. So whenever you decide which to do, be confident in that decision & no one should make you feel bad about it.
Tough call, but you'll figure it out! (Sorry I'm not much help)
That's so good you are already thinking about it. I made the mistake of not thinking about it until about the end of my second trimester. I want to recommend a book to you that I LOVED. The Best Birth by Sarah McMoyler. It was amazing. She talks about deliveries with and without epidurals. She doesn't make you feel bad if you want an epidural which I found a lot of books did, but she also doesn't glamorize epidurals. Before I went into labor I was going to see how long I could last, then the contractions came fast and hard and I was scared and got an epidural immediately, which I regret. I was in just panic mode, so it's so important for Steve to know what you want and for him to know what he is doing too. You are just too distracted by the pain. But know my epidural didn't work and I got back labor which the epidural didn't help so then I was stuck in the bed and couldn't relieve the pain. You can have an epidural redone (I found that out too late). I'm yet to experience natural but I have every intention to the next time, but if you do choose natural make sure your doctor/midwife is on board 100%. I personally would chose a midwife if you do it naturally because they are more supportive for natural. If anything just go in and try to see how far you can get before you can't handle the pain. If it's 10 minutes or 10 hours good for you! Whatever you decide I'm sure you'll have a healthy beautiful child.
Sorry it was long and I rambled.
i was just like you. my mom had all six of her babies naturally and i thought if she can do it, so can i. all my friends thought i was completely insane and would look at me like i was crazy when i told them my plan. i told them i would try to go without the epidural and if i needed it i would get it. i didn't want to have my decision made 100% because there really is no way to know what it will be like for you until you're there doing it. everyone is different so people can tell you over and over again what it was like for them and it may be completely different for you. after my water broke i made it through a handful of contractions and started asking for the anesthesiologist, haha! the epidural for me, was the greatest thing ever! i too had heard epidurals can slow down labor, but that definitely wasn't the case for me. i started pitocin around noon, my water broke on it's own a few hours later, once i got to a 3 i got my epi, an hour later i was at a 10 and had my baby at 6:22 that night. i was induced and it way my first baby and i still only was in labor for just over 6 hours. so again, it's different for everyone. like you said make the decision that is best for you and the baby and what makes you feel comfortable.
So my experience was definitely not the norm, so I don't know how much help I can be, but will tell you my experience anyway :). I really wanted to be able to move around during labor, so I mainly did not want an epidural for that reason. I also wanted to avoid a c-section as much as possible. Since I ended up with pre-eclampsia, I ended up not getting too much of a choice, because they give you an epidural in hopes of bringing your blood pressure down and to avoid seizures, etc. I recieved an epidural fairly early on after they induced me and it was definitely a relief for a little bit from the contractions/back labor.
However, my induction didn't work-this could be due to being too early and my body just not being ready, but it could have been due in part to the epidural too. So after three days of labor, I ended up having to get a c-section. And because my epidural did not work in the middle of my body, I felt a lot of it. They kept giving me higher and higher doses which did not help the pain any but did make me super shaky and tired and caused me to pass out for a whole hour after K was born, which I regret.
Overall, I would do it all again for my little guy, but you did say you wanted honest opinions (haha!)I'm not trying to scare you out of getting one at all and I think if I had had a normal delivery without preeclmapsia and induction that I would consider an epidural. My situation is probably one of the worst case scenarios with it. I definitely think that it's important to keep your options open, because delivery can be unpredictable. Ultimately you will make whatever choice is best for you and the baby! :)
I dont think you can go in wanting a natural birth without preparing hard for one. Its just too intense. My advice
1) A doula---even if you get an epidural. Its your hubbys first time too and it's not fair to put all the pressure on him. Best money we ever spent
2) HYPNOBABIES---AWESOME program and awesome support community. It really prep;ares you for all parts of labor and everything that can come up. Everyone supports you in whatever decision you make and you need another option of pain relief. Epis arent 100% all the time.
You CAN do it!! Find a midwife who delivers at a hospital or birth center. They are more supportive (generally) even if you decide to get an epidural.
Excited for you!
I've never had kids so I'm not the best to ask -- but working Mom/Baby for awhile and going to deliveries helped me understand a few things. I think both are great options for a natural child birth. And I say that because i think if you birth a child with or without an epidural you are doing it the "natural" way - unnatural would be a c-section.
I also think you should make up your mind before you show up at the hospital, but be open to the other option if it becomes necessary. I've been in on way to many deliveries where the woman wanted an epidural but progressed to fast or it didn't work right and had to have an unmedicated birth. BAD NEWS! I've also been in on the other end where a woman wanted to be "all natural" but got the epidural and then was mad at herself for it. That being said I'd prepare for both. Maybe one more than another - but you never know what will happen once you arrive at the hospital.
Also, if you just want to take the edge off the pain ask for a "walking epidural" That way you'll get the pain relief without having to be stuck in bed.
Since I'm 3 days out of of my c-section, I just have to say that if you end up with one, it's not a huge deal. I mean it is, but I was so afraid that life would end if I had to get one, but literally the opposite is true. My babies and myself wouldn't be alive if it weren't for the surgery. I know you realize that there are cases where they're necessary, but a lot of women are so afraid of them and honestly, it was probably the mist spiritual experience I've ever had. I'll write about it more on my blog soon, but I just had to day that no matter how you deliver, you'll end up with a perfect little person straight from Heavenly Father and in the end that's all that matters. I'm so excited for you! Motherhood is the coolest thing ever. Seriously, EVER.
Hey girl. You have a lot of great advice ahead of me but here is a little of mine. I had Daya natural and I LOVED IT! I was so much like you that when I read your post I laughed. I had always thought people were crazy for not using the pain meds. But then I had a cousin that was going to a hypnobirthing class and I went with her to one and I really liked it. So I though huh maybe I'll try it and then probably not really do it. But as I took the class it really really prepared me. The thing I loved about it most was it totally changed my way of thinking! I realized like you said women have been having babies for thousands of years without meds! AND I learned just because I was having her natural didn't mean it had to hurt. The class taught me how to relax and not feel the pain. But what I LOVED more than anything is its based around doing it with your husband. It made it such an incredible, spiritual experience. The meds are great too and its great either way. I just really loved some of the benefits like Daya was so alert, she ate great and imidiately after she was born, I felt AMAZING after, and I HATE NEEDLES haha so that was great too! But ya I would totally recommend it. If anything just let me know if you want some info on it. Email me dustjones7@yahoo.com Good luck! Ultimately its the best day of your life and no matter how your baby comes as long as its healthy and happy, that is all that matters! Love you girl! Hope that helps.
I was just like you! I had so many mixed feelings. For me, my two older sisters went in the same pattern: first baby in the hospital with an epideral, second baby in the hospital with a midwife and natural, third baby AT HOME with a midwife and natural. So, as soon as I found I was pregnant, I immediately thought I'm going NATURAL!!! Then, a couple weeks later, my sister had a baby and invited me to witness the miracle. It was a home birth. It was a beautiful experience. But, on the way home from seeing that, I decided for my first baby I wanted to do pain meds. Maybe in the future I will go natural. But what I ended up doing was going 3 1/2 hours natural (after they broke my water) After your water is broken you can feel EVERYTHING!!! After going that long without an epideral, I wanted one BAD!! haha. And so I got one and it was AMAZING!!!!
So, in conclusion, nobody can make your decision for you and you'll make the right decision for you and your baby. I experienced both (well, not the FULL natural experience or close to it but I was proud of myself for what I did do)and I'm not sure what I'll do for my next...we'll just have to see.
Good luck in your decision!!
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