The Sun

Today was Cloudy. But not dreary. These barely there clouds filled the entire sky but did not bring with them a storm. There was no rain, no thunder, no lightning. They were not enough to fill the world with darkness and gloom.

This morning I woke up more exhausted than I was when I went to bed last night. I got up too many times, my sleep cycles were interrupted one too many times and this is how I felt this morning: cloudy. Not the clouds that bring dreariness. Just the kind to put you in a funk and make you forget to count your blessings. The kind of clouds that don't ruin your day they just make your day a little "off".

The clouds outside were not enough to make the world dark. The sun was there you could tell. You could not see the beautiful ball of fire but its light was trying as hard as it could to penetrate through those clouds. The world was light enough. The sun was patiently waiting, waiting to be let out, waiting to shine through. I couldn't wait for it to let loose and shine down on my world. And out it came. I love the sun.

My day progressed with that small cloud over my head. I ate breakfast, fed ms. O, made Steve lunch, surfed the blog world, showered, smiled lots at the bean, cleaned the apartment...all with this stupid cloud. But something inside was nagging me. Something was waiting to come out.

Olivia had a hard time napping today. The clouds threatened to thicken. Once again she woke up after 45 minutes screaming. I tried to soothe her, rock her, sing to her, tell her I loved her. She needed me. She wanted me. She wanted to feel of my love. Nothing would console her little heart. I ached for her. Bless her heart. Those clouds were hanging over her head too.

Finally I nursed her and the clouds started to part. I have really grown to love this experience with Olivia. It's something only I can give her. She finds so much comfort in it and so do I. Today was particularly special because of how cloudy her day was going. and mine. I gave her as much love as I could, giving all that I had. Perhaps I parted her clouds because after she was finished she looked up at me...and smiled. I love the sun.

She was my sun today, and I like to think that I was hers. Funny how when we give to others our days are brighter and better. Funny how helping others is a cycle that goes round and round. I sit and think about how much this little girls knows. Did she give me that smile because she knew that I needed the sun? Did she give me that smile because I had just provided her with the sun? Is there really a difference? We both gave, and we both received that happy bright sun! Thank you sweet girl. I love you!

Who was your sun today?