Olivia is taking so much in every single day and applying that into her life. She is learning who she is. Learning that she is indeed her very own person and that she can make her own decisions. Our free will- our agency is such a beautiful gift that we have been given, but man its a challenge.
She is going through the terrible twos. But it's not all terrible. When you look at it in the grand scheme of things its not terrible at all. It's beautiful. Beautiful because she is learning how to make decisions and express herself. It's my responsibility as a parent to guide her in a way so that she can express herself in a positive way and make decisions that are healthy for her- decisions that will make her happy. That's my job- my responsibility- my privilege as a parent- and if I have to be the bad guy in order to fulfill those responsibilities- so be it.
If she doesn't get what she wants - ever- she loses it. Yesterday was just embarassing. We went to lunch at a friend's house - in order to get to know each other better. Yeah, I envisioned a nice quiet lunch where we could talk about our lives, our likes, dislikes, etc... Not so much what really happened. Olivia yelled the entire time at the table- refused to eat (a new habit of hers), wanted to see the doggies, threw things off the table, etc... Finally I had to excuse ourselves, apologize, and take my tantrumy child home- where she continued to yell and scream at me. Yesterday was not our best day. Although I remained calm on the outside, smiled at her, showed her that although I wouldn't let her eat the chocolate I had hidden in the pantry that I still did love her.
The other day she wanted something to snack on and I told her it had to be something healthy. She wanted the cake we had had the night before. I told her it was going to be a banana (her favorite- I wasn't forcing her to eat something she hated) and she lost it. I sat down on the floor and held the banana while she screamed at me for the next 5-10 minutes. Miraculously, she stopped abrubtly- walked right over to me, sat down, and opened her mouth for her snack. Liv- 0 Mom- 1. I won that battle and I will continue fighting each and every battle- she's got to know who the boss is.
Yesterday was just downright hard- and I know I'm not the first mother to go through this, nor will I be the last. I feel like its just a new stage of parenting. A new stage that has its ups and its downs. We've already talked about the downs so lets talk about the ups.
She is so hilarious lately. I love watching her try to say new words and then she'll repeat them over and over and over. She kept trying to say purple today while we were playing with a purple easter egg. It sounded so cute coming out of her mouth. She is more playful than ever before. We run outside, we run around the apartment. We play hide and seek. Tickling is a favorite past time. She is super giggly- and those giggles warm my heart every time. I don't have to pick her up every where I go now. Instead, she grabs my hand and we walk wherever she wants to take me. It's so funny how something so simple as holding my bean's hand makes me the happiest momma on the earth. I don't look forward to the day when she wont hold my hand anymore. She is so full of life. Her personality is blossoming everyday and I just love to watch her learn and grow.
SO even though, its not all hearts and flowers all the time over here (Yesterday, I don't think there were any hearts and flowers) we are loving our life. We love watching our little Bean sprout. Learning can be a hard process- for anybody- so it's only normal that as she learns about the world and what she can and can't do- that it will come with its bumps and bruises.
2 comments:
I love how real you are, Lar! Real & still optimistic. Way to be.
So sorry it was a hard day yesterday. So proud of you for triumphing your way through it! You are such a wonderful momma to little miss Olivia :) Wish I had advice on the tantrums... I think I'll be coming to YOU for that in a couple of years! I guess PATIENCE seems to be a word that comes to mind, which you definitely have. Ahh.. good luck!
By the way, I can't believe how big she is already!! Such a pretty little lady. Love you guys! XO!
Oh I just read the story of my life right here on your blog :). haha. Oh how I can RELATE! I recently listed to the audio book "Love and Logic". I love listening to books since lets face it-I don't have time to sit down and read them :). But he's all about time-outs. No warnings-just say "uh-oh" when they do something they're not supposed to and act SYMPATHETIC, NOT angry, and simply put them in time out and tell them they can come out when they're obedient, calm, ready to listen etc. When you go back in to get them you say, "I'm so sorry you chose to do that, I love you so much" and then you're done. I have been doing this. My husband pointed out today that he's CONSTANTLY going to time out. I agree. And it's REALLY tiring as a parent to keep putting them into time out again and again for either the same thing or something completely different but ALL. DAY. LONG. it seems. But I believe it's helping and as a parent, it gives me time to cool off too. I find it really helps me to be able to "do something" about him misbehaving. And it really helps me to keep my sanity by acting sympathetic and always telling him I love him after time out. As a rule of thumb I've heard to go by age for amount of time to go into time out. So, one year olds get a minute, two year olds get two minutes etc. I don't know, I think it's helping and it helps me feel like I'm doing something and keeping sane :). Hope this helps-sorry it's so long. I did enjoy and agree with most of Love and Logic. Don't know if you've read it but I liked it and thought it made a lot of sense.
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