The First Date.

My 1st date with Steven....sorry I didn't take a picture...wish I had one though.

I'm nervous. Why am I so nervous? It's not like I haven't done anything with him before. We are already friends. There is absolutely NO reason to be nervous. It's never awkward between the two of you and you always have more than enough to talk about. Don't be nervous Lauren. He's here...okay don't be nervous.

We're at Olive Garden and believe it or not, I'm not nervous. He looks handsome. I love Olive Garden. We have talked about so much. Chicago, New Jersey, Utah, mormons, where we would like to live one day (shoot....he wants to live in Chicago...not sure I could ever live there, my family all lives in Utah.) You're pathetic Lauren...It's only a first day, take it easy. I feel so comfortable around him. I'm scared. Why does that scare me?

We are now at a haunted barn in the middle of Cache Valley. Seriously, nothing is scary like the country. We buy our tickets and get in line. I'm such a scardy cat but I love being scared at the same time. Silly me. I tell him that I freak out easily, he reassures me. Of course he does...smart thinking on this one. He puts his arm around me as we enter (smooth, real smooth...no wonder he chose this as the activity. HAH!) I don't mind one bit. I'm nervous and scared but I might have played it up just a tad :)

We're on our way home and I don't want it to end. It's early....why is the date over? I don't want it to be over. "Steve would you like to come back to my place and bake cookies?" He readily agrees. (I found out later that he believes that first dates should be shorter. That way if the girl is sick of you, you can take her home...but if she's not it leaves her wanting more. Smart cookie this one.) I wanted More.

The cookies are in the oven and they smell delicious. He smells delicious. I feel so myself around him. No falst pretenses, no playing games. I'm scared. That scares me. Why does that scare me?

It's time for him to go home so I walk him out and say goodnight. He hugs me goodnight and tells me he'll call me tomorrow. Sounds great. He leaves and all heck breaks loose.

I'm scared, I'm petrified. I'm nervous, I'm panicked. Why am I so scared?

It wasn't until much later that I realized exactly why I was so scared... Although it's wonderful to fall in love, it is also most assuredly very very scary.