The joy of chaos and peace.

Remember this post where I talked about how I love NEVER being alone. How I hate being alone? How I am one of those people that just doesn't need a lot of alone time?

That still stands. BUT, I think now I can appreciate having a little alone time. Olivia is going through that whole separation anxiety phase. Some times she is fine with other people as long as I'm in sight. Other times I will be sitting next to her and it's not enough, she has to be IN my lap. If she's tired or cranky than forget it...not even Daddy will do and that is really saying something considering how much she LOVES her daddy.

Then we moved and it got even worse. In one way it makes me feel needed. Everybody likes to be needed. It tells me that something in this brand new BIG world that she lives in, makes her uneasy. She's hesitant and she wants me to be there to reassure her. I am more than happy to be there for her. I love giving her hugs and kisses (if I had a dollar for every kiss I gave...I'd be stinkin rich!) and letting her know that momma is there and isn't going to leave her. I love loving on her.

BUT, there are times where it is important to be alone. After having someone glued to you ALL DAY LONG, it is important to take some time to yourself. So last Sunday when Steve offered to take the girl for a walk and asked if I wanted to come with or stay home.....I hesitated (this would be time to spend with my two favorite people) but only for a minute, because I knew that I needed the time to myself. They walked out the door, I got in bed and just basked in the fact that I was all alone. That I didn't have to get up to do ANYTHING. I didn't think about anything important I just smiled and enjoyed my time. Enjoyed it so much that I fell asleep. I thoroughly enjoyed that as well. It was so wonderful to be Alone. To have a moment of no responsibilities. To listen to the quiet and be grateful for the beauty of it. It was just what the doctor ordered.

But most of the time I don't want to be alone because I am blessed with two wonderful souls that fill my life everyday. Without these two the quiet would be sad and lonely. The lack of responsibility would lead me to feel useless. My home wouldn't feel so homey. They keep me busy, on the go, and extrememly happy. Sure, it's because of them that I am kept so busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

So when the two of them came in on Sunday to wake me up, I felt rejuvenated and ready to give them all that I could. It's only fair, since they give me everything and more.

So on occasion, I too, need my time all to myself. But mostly, I enjoy my time with these two loves of mine.